PHOTO SHARE ALBUM

I went tobogganing yesterday (for real...it was my favourite thing!) The hoomans took pictures and have them on something called Shaw Photo Share. Follow this link to see them. The password is "dog" (what else?)

http://photoshare.shaw.ca/view/14565353611-1235761033-73195/56

SNOW DOG! Snow is absolutely my favourite thing! I love it! It snowed lots and lots today and I couldn't wait to get out in it. For some reason I love stuffing my entire head deep into the snow and leaving it there while the rest of me leaps about in the air! I also ran round and round the trampoline while my mom swept the snow off it (it gets too heavy for the springs) and barked my socks off. By the time we came in I looked like a white husky. The hoomans are talking about getting me a harness so that I can pull sled. I would be a good sled dog because I am so strong...I could pull a bus! They also discovered that I can howl like a wolf today. I put my snout in the air and HOWLED in reply to something called sirens in the distance. I also went to school for show and share in Jonathan's class. I lay on my back on the classroom floor with my four legs in the air and had a good rub. The classroom floor got all wet and muddy, but nobody seemed to mind. I also seem to have a 'gas' problem (as my mom found out when she bent to tie her shoe too close to me) This could be because I stole a taco last night and ate a blue paper clip too.....

DIARY: I went for a great walk with my neighbour, Fergus, this morning. Fergus is a border collie like me, but he is much older and slower. He likes to wander along at his own pace while I like to RUN like the wind and play ball! I love the wind in my face as I gallop and tumble and leap about! At lunch I ate cheese nachos (as well as my doggy lunch) Now I have gas coming from both ends. My Mum has just made cheese scones ...mmm. They smell good. I am waiting for my chance to steal one or two, and then blame the CAT. They are cooling in the kitchen...all warm and cheesy, fresh from the oven. Wonder if they will give me gas again. It smells great! Everyone loves their own gas don't they??!!

DOG WASTE SERVICES

I have just retrieved the mail for the hoomans. In the mail is a flyer about DOG WASTE REMOVAL SERVICES! Fancy that! Does someone wander around the streets looking for "dog waste" on people's lawns, just so that they can target the house with flyers about disposing it? The hoomans clean my waste up daily because I produce a lot! They said they've never seen so much "waste" come out of one animal before! I'm so proud of myself! Anyway, guess how much this Doggie Detail service charges for removing these items? $5.00 a week for a special dog waste bucket which is collected each week, and $6.75 for "yard service" where they come to your yard and remove it for you! People are actually making money out of dog poop?? Whatever next? We should sign up for the yard service....they might have to put their prices up after doing mine! My waste is worth much more than $6.75 a week...it's priceless!

DIARY: The hoomans were all sick yesterday. They had something called food poisoning, and could not take me for my walk or do anything with me. I was a bit bored. My Mum lost four pounds in weight in one day and has lost her appetite again. I don't know where she lost all those things, but I plan to help her find them later....Hopefully I will get my walk today. Does anyone want to come and walk me?

WALK BY THE RIVER! MY FAVOURITE THING!!!

DIARY: I went for my first proper long walk by the river today, now that I have had my second shots. I still get car sick, so the hoomans tried sitting me on my Mum's lap in the front of the car to see if it helped. It did! I stuck my head out of the window and drooled a lot! (I have a saliva problem when I'm anxious) My Mum got soaked! The salivary streaks sparkled silvery all over her jacket in the afternoon sun. I thought it was beautiful! I enjoyed my walk, and I LOVE meeting people, but I am scared of other dogs. I hid from them all and didn't sniff any of their 'rears' like I'm supposed to. I also went for my first swim! My favourite thing! The best thing of all was that the Evil one (cat) didn't go. Just me and my family. I threw up in a margarine tub on the way home though.

DIARY: Yesterday my teeth had an accident with my Mum! She was asking me to get "down" when I jumped up, and was using her hand to demonstrate "down"when I jumped UP! My mouth was open at the time and one of my sharp teeth was in the wrong place, and plunged into her hand! Oops. She has a bit of a hole there now. It's not bleeding as much as it was yesterday....

DIARY: I went for a run with my Mum today in the rain. Then when we picked the kid pups up from school, we went to the park to play ball! My favourite thing! I got black mud all over my legs and my white tummy. I didn't think it was a big deal, but my Mum kept telling me to wash when we got home. I didn't, so she had to wash me all over. While she washed me, I thought I would wash her all over too, so she got wetter than I did!
I cornered the Evil One (cat) today and refused to let her escape! I barked and growled and they all cheered me on! Apparently, I have to let her know who's boss. (If anyone knows who boss is please let me know...I didn't quite understand that part)

DIARY:

Today I thought I would share what's left of my chewy bone. I brought it to the Master Alpha Dog on the couch, glistening wet with my own drool, and tried to put it into the Master's mouth, but he didn't seem keen. I tried several times but he pushed me off! Does anyone know why he would refuse such a precious gift? I don't share my bones with just anyone you know....

I AM DOG

I AM DOG:

I wrote a song, but in order to appreciate it, you have to first go to You Tube and look up a song called "I am Cow" by Arrogant Worms. Once you have the tune in your head, or if you can pull it up underneath this blog so it plays while you are reading my version, it will be funny (well, my family finds it funny anyway) Here is my version:

I am Dog
Hear me bark
I like running in the park
And I always try to leave my "mark"

I am a proper canine
Don't need clothes to make me look fine
I am Dog
I am Dog
Hear me bark

I am Dog
Eating lots
Don't need breath mints or fancy pots
To give me filtered water everyday

Let me rough it as I'm meant to
Roll in mud
And eat my doo doo
I am Dog
I am Dog
Hear me bark

I am Dog
Man's best friend
I just cannot comprehend
Why some dogs get carried in a purse?

Oh I don't need walks in strollers
Silly bows or dog hair rollers
I am Dog
I am Dog
Hear me bark

I am Dog
I am Dog
Hear me bark!

I would love to put together my own video for You Tube, but my Mum isn't that clever (she's only hooman remember) but if anyone out there has the technology, feel free....

DIARY: Today I got five big blobs of gum on my butt. I think I rolled in it outside. My Mum tried to pull it off but it hurt. Now she is going to try putting ice on it! :( Between you and me I think the Evil One (cat) planted it there deliberately as a trap. She knew I would get stuck in it. She knew that disgusting things I can't mention would also get stuck to it so I would have to stay outside, while she is nice and warm inside. She watches me but says nothing. I know she is laughing at me behind those cold, calculating, double eye lidded eyes....